Too Painful for words
Editor: Michael O'Loughlin

After a divorce, we may feel too wounded, too distraught, or even too angry to approach God in prayer. We may even question our relationship with God, and the purpose of prayer.

There may be many reasons why we feel unwilling or unable to pray during the difficult process of ending a marriage and moving on. When we experience times like these, we may want to try different forms of prayer and communication with God to help us discover a way to surrender our thoughts and feelings to God, even when we feel unable—or unwilling—to articulate them.If you have reached a place where you are at a loss for words during times of prayer, try experimenting with some of these types of prayer suggested by various authors. You may find a method of prayer that more naturally allows you to talk to God in a way that is both comforting and fulfilling.

Contemplation
Contemplation involves meditating through focused concentration on some aspect or characteristic of the divine, says Avery Brooke, in her pamphlet What is Contemplation? for Forward Movement Publications. We may choose a passage from the Bible, a prayer or hymn, or even a favorite scene from nature on which we silently reflect and open our minds to deeper revelations of wisdom and serenity. "Deeper, wordless contemplation is something that we may experience either in church, in those blessed pauses between words, or in quiet times alone when we cease our words of prayer, put down our Bibles, and realize that God is both very near and familiar and yet beyond all knowing," writes Brooke. When language fails us as we try to pray, contemplation remains a meaningful way to open our souls to God without saying a word.

Books of prayers and meditations
If you cannot find the right words to express your thoughts and feelings, consider beginning your conversation with God by using a book of prayers and meditations. There have been countless books of prayer and meditations written on a wide range of issues. Stop by a bookstore and see if you can find a book that contains passages that seem to express your own feelings. Or, consider repeating some of the passages from The Book of Common Prayer. While for many people, prayer is a solitary activity in which a person spends time alone with God, books of prayers can jumpstart our dialogue with God, says Margaret Graham Beers, in her booklet Echoes of the Spirit for Forward Movement Publications. "People have been composing prayers since the dawn of time—prayers that help to develop a relationship with God and share that relationship with others," writes Beers. "Prayers are like jumper-cables; they re-start conversation with God and help us feel the connection that is always available."

Praying with family and friends
If trying to pray alone with God feels overwhelming, try bringing your concerns to God within the comforting circle of family and friends. This is especially true if you have children. Even though we may feel at a loss for words when we talk to God, helping kids maintain a daily ritual of going to God in prayer is an important aspect of their—and our—personal faith journey. Praying with our children not only helps to build a warm rapport between parent and child, but also serves as a means of "opening and expanding a child’s heart and mind and spiritual horizon wholesomely, happily, and helpfully," says Joan Bel Geddes, in her book Children Praying: Why and How to Pray with Your Children.

Once you have found a method of communing with God that is both comforting and healing to you, try to make it a part of your daily routine.

"In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame; deliver me in your righteousness. Turn your ear to me, come quickly to my rescue; be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me."
Psalms 31:1-2

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